It's Tough

Damn, if doubt don't creep into the brain like a weed.  It starts out little enough, but just like the weed once it takes hold, it's a bitch to get rid of.

The past few weeks have been tough.  I have upped the distance to 5 miles, and it was going along really great.  Then the demands of life get in the way.  The house, the kids, the husband, the heat...they all stand in my way!  The usual stuff like the house, kids, husband, etc. don't stand in my way as much.  They are all really supportive (except the house, it could care less). 

It's the heat.  It's a bitch.  I'm talking King Kamehameha Be-yotch!  Ordinarily, I bask in the stuff.  I can't normally get enough sunshine and warmth.  I am a summer person. Sun should have been my middle name.  This crazy, nasty humid scorcher of a month has gotten the best of me.

I can't always get to the YMCA to run in air-conditioned comfort.  Those things called Kids don't always want to go, or I'm watching other kids and they aren't members, or at certain times of the day the place is just packed.  So running outside is the only option.  I would have done it in the early morning, but the air is so heavy & the fog is so bad at 5:30 in the morning some tired farmer might turn little old me into street pizza.  And going after the fog burns off is out of the question since the heat index reaches the mid nineties by 9 am.  So I wind up not putting in the required 5 miles.

Which leaves me to sit here and get down on myself for not doing anything and being a big failure.  How can I work through that?  How am I supposed to keep thinking positive when I am really thinking I am going to fail.  The Hills and Hollows 1/2 Marathon is just under two months away and every time I think about it I get nauseous.  Hell, I've got two small 5 & 6K races right before the Big One and they make me sick to think about and those are races I've done before without problems!
Well, I guess I just gotta make an attempt no matter how pathetic it is.  And I've got to constantly remind myself that if I miss one run, it's not the end of the world!  And I know that I can go 8 miles which is over half the distance.  To quote Joe Dirt, "You gotta just keep on keepin' on."  Yeah, easy for him to say.  I just need to make it easy for me to say.